I’ve come across two strange public bathroom inventions. “What?” you think, “Like a new soap dispenser?” No, not quite…
Exhibit A) The toll bathroom.
I felt quite incensed that I had to pay 25 cents to use the bathroom at this SF movie theatre. It’s a cruel gimmick to charge people to pee.
I mean really this is actually probably a pretty smart invention. I can imagine the harried mother with the toddler that is always trying to escape, or the baby in a stroller she doesn’t want to let out of her sight, that needs this device. I just wonder if the bathroom designer was enlightened enough to put the same seat in the men’s bathroom as well?
Oh dear God, what happened here?
I’ve walked into a bathroom stall
where something sketchy clearly did befall.
Wasn’t it a nice-looking woman that just emerged?
Like a witness after the fact,
in a daze, my memory I must wrack.
I’ve been taken by surprise, just a bit hysterical-
trying to imagine what possible situation
could have culminated in my current tribulation.
She must have been crouching at some height…
To find just what I’d need a spatter analysis.
Not by me, I’ve been seized by a sudden paralysis.
No, I’m not equipped to handle this scene!
And I know it might seem quite lowly,
but I think I’ll just back away slowly.