Ever since the infamous pederasty text, I’ve realized the power of using ugly, naked men to get what I want. Now you may think, wait, don’t you mean the power of beautiful, naked women? Nope. Sex sells, but ugly has the power to make people go, “Oh God, don’t show me any more!”, and in their distraction, submit to your will. It’s not exactly scare tactics- it’s Ugly Tactics.

Turns out it’s more effective when you don’t point out that you are using them, and the success you’re having. Then your ugly-recipients tend to get a little pissy. But the use of ugly tactics is an art I’m in the process of refining. I think it shows much promise.

Emojis

 

You’ll notice that the picture of Kate Upton was totally useless in getting the boys to do what I wanted. I really think magazine editors need to take notice. Ugly is a powerful force.

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